What it's like to be a parent of a Medical needs child!

Being a mother of a medical needs child, I often get asked this question. “How in the world do you deal with or do it all?” Well this is my answer to it. By THE GRACE OF GOD!! Being a Mother of a child with any medical condition doesn’t come with an instruction manual. Boy do I wish it did. However I can tell you that it is for sure a learning process. I can’t even tell you all the stuff I have had to learn. I choose to learn about what my son has so I can be educated. Now no parent wants to hear there is something seriously wrong with your child. Let’s take you back to my very first time of hearing news. (this happens every time the give me something new news or a new condition) I am sitting at the doctors waiting in this very tiny room. I am hoping for some answers to all my questions. Well no parent in their right mind can be prepared for unexpected bad news. The doctor is talking and at one point I am looking him in the face and I see his lips moving but I am not hearing anything else come out of his mouth. For this reason I always ask my doctors to give me a recap or take someone or a recording device with me . At the very moment that my mind goes blank while the doctor is talking I am thinking WHAT THE HELL DID I DO FOR MY CHILD TO DESERVE THIS???? This question will never be answered because over the years I have learned it’s not my fault. As parents the first thing we do is blame ourselves! It’s a natural reaction for us as humans. We have to learn that God made us special for a reason. Yes it can be argued Why, how is all this useful? Once everything soaks into my brain I decide you know what this is the path that was chosen for me so no more wondering or feeling sorry for everything that isn’t in my control. Time to pull up my boots by my boot straps and to put on my big girl pants & go in to Survival mode! I have a child that I brought into this world and that didn’t ask to be created that depends on me to take care of him. So my brain goes on auto pilot! Time to learn what is best for my child from his doctors and do what needs to be done no matter what the cost or what anyone else thinks. Onto phase two. Having a child with any medical condition comes with all kinds of trials and errors to see what works best for your child. I will never ever forget when some family members thought we were nuts, crazy, overprotective, making things up . All because they choose not to believe or understand what we were dealing with. We as parents try to educate them but you can’t make someone listen to you. You hand them over to God & pray for them. The hardest thing for any parent is to except that there is something wrong with your child and deal with everyone else. The second hardest thing is the expensive medical things that the insurance doesn’t cover which are always never ending. Sometimes we as parents feeling like beating are head against the wall or wishing those magical money trees really exist. Or totally beating yourself up because there you can’t provide something that your child needs. The third hardest thing for me is seeing what my child goes through and sees him in pain. Seeing the world through your child’s eyes is and can be very eye opening. As parents we make what choices we think is best for our child. When my husband & I make decision we don’t do them very lightly. It usually comes with hours of research and endless talks with our child & the doctors. Weighing out the options if we go down this path or if we choose another path. Each step isn’t taken lightly & a extreme amount of thought goes in to every decision we make on a daily basis. We don’t get the luxury of flying by the “seat of are pants” or being spontaneous. Everything we do is planned out. Heck you get to the point where you even plan out the “what if situations “. Now, there a whole other aspect to all of this when you have one sick child and one healthy one. The other child who’s healthy also feels like us parents sometimes. Simply, because they also get the short end of the stick too. How you ask? Even though there healthy they learn that there maybe things they can’t do or places they can’t go all because of your sick child. They also grow up quicker than they normally would. They we as parents go back to beating our self up all over again. Once again it takes a lot to be able to get over these feelings. The only thing I can say is every time I got educated I made sure to educate my children sick & healthy. If you exclude your healthy child but make them live with the atmosphere of the sick child they will rebel and even possible blame the other child and even decide that there mad or hate you. I didn’t want that risk so every time we learn something with my son. I choose to involve my daughter. So people think that’s wrong but I have seen firsthand what not involving the healthy child can do. Now don’t get me wrong my daughter still has these feelings of why off and on. I always tell her to take it to God & imagine if it was her and not her brother. Is it right she has to mature a little earlier no but does it and will it help her when she is an adult YES. Well this is what has been on my mind lately. I hope this helps some people understand how we as parents feel.